THURSDAY'S SCRIPT TIP:
THICK, JUICY SCENES!
So, you've done your outline or just started writing your script and you come to that
big scene and... well, what's supposed to be in that big scene anyway? How do you turn that index card or line
in your step outline into the kind of big, juicy scene that people will talk about when they leave the cinema?
How do you turn that jotted note into 2-3 pages of script?
A scene is a dramatic unit of your story. Most scripts have 45-60 scenes... and all of them need to hold
the audience's interest until the next scene. That's quite responsibility for a dramatic unit! Scenes need
to move the story forward, and give us new information. Every scene has a purpose in your story. If it serves
no purpose, toss it. You want the *best* scenes, the *required* scenes, not filler scenes. Know what that
purpose is - that's the most important thing about your scene.
NACHO LIBRE by Jared & Jerusha Hess and Chris White is a silly film about the monk/cook at an orphanage
who dreams of being a masked Mexican wrestler. Like SCHOOL OF ROCK, the film is light-weight comedy completely
saved by the presence of Jack Black in the lead role. Black is a great physical comedian who can earn a laugh
with a raised eyebrow or by sheer force of attitude. As the cook Ignacio (Nacho), the story needs a scene that
shows him obtaining the raw groceries that he will cook for the orphans. That's the scene. Okay, do we just show
him at a market shopping? That's a couple of lines of script and a couple of seconds of screen time...
not much of a scene.
THREE THINGS AT ONCE!
The problem is, that scene is only doing one thing at once... and in film we need to do many things
with the same scene. We need to move the story forward. give the audience some information about the
characters, and be interesting and exciting. That's three things that every scene needs to do!
Even more responsibility for a simple dramatic unit!
What is the story information in your scene?
What does the scene tell us about the character(s)?
What is emotional element in the scene (what does it make the audience feel)?
What is the entertainment value in the scene?
What is the conflict in the scene?
CONFLICT! CONFLICT! CONFLICT!
Conflict is everything. A scene without conflict isn't *dramatic* - it's just exposition.
Scenes also have a beginning, middle and end. Three act structure is hard to escape! Again,
think of the way conflict works. We have to introduce the conflict, show the struggle, then resolve the
conflict. Just like your story's conflict, the problem in scenes often happens in Act 2 - the struggle
part is missing. Scenes run into trouble when your protagonist wants something... and easily gets it.
No conflict!
A script I wrote a few years ago was a horror story about a serial killer who is executed... but
keeps on killing. A copycat? Or something supernatural and evil?. An early, pre-execution scene has my
leading lady, a tough Nancy Grace type TV reporter, interviewing a Priest and a Serial Killer Expert about
tomorrow's execution. It's a debate on the death penalty for about 2 pages... but right before they go on
the air, our leading lady is told she has been *requested* to attend the execution by the serial killer.
So this debate is *really* about how she feels about witnessing a man die. And by the end of the scene we
will learn that she doesn't want to watch anyone die - she's scared. As she moderates, both the Priest and
the Serial Killer Expert are going to describe all kinds of horrible things that may happen when she witnesses
the execution... or what might happen if the killer isn't executed. The two guys debating are two sides of her
(even though they are characters who carry through the story... until they are killed by the executed serial
killer). I wanted a chance to show that under that tough exterior she is vulnerable, and to build some dread
over what might happen at the execution - will some of those horrible things happen?
I used this as an example because it's not a typical conflict scene - it's an *internal* conflict scene
that I've externalized. Most scenes have an external conflict of some sort - a character wants something and
someone else gets in the way, and the scene is the struggle.
So in NACHO LIBRE Nacho cooks for the orphans and goes out every night to collect the cast off foods in
the village - day old veggies and day old tortilla chips and dy old whatever. That's his goal in the scene.
Now, the obstacle is that skinny homeless guy Esqueleto (Hector Jimenez) who steals all of the food from Nacho.
He steals the big bag of chips, and Nacho fights him for it. They rip open the bag of chips, but Esqueleto
takes off with most of the chips... Nacho *loses*.
That's another possible problem with some scenes - the protagonist may be winning every time. Things
should be getting worse, not better! Indiana Jones may be a *hero*, but look at how many times the scene ends
with him on top... very few! In my big two day class I show the opening of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, where Indy
goes from bad to worse to even worse! Often writers "protect" their protagonists from conflict, when you really
want to do the exact opposite. .Look at your scenes and ask "What's the worst that can happen?" Then have that happen.
Okay, so the scene where Nacho collects food has this conflict: the skinny guy Esqueleto. That struggle
between them keeps the scene going... but there's so much more to this scene! See, it's part of the big
picture, critical to the story.
This scene:
1) Shows why the meals at the orphanage is so bad - it's day old cast offs.
2) Sets up Nacho's goal to find better ingredients for the meals.
3) Shows us Nacho in action as a wrestler. He can't really wrestle in the orphanage, so this is
where we can show him in action.
4) Introduces the skinny guy Esqueleto... who also wrestles well... and will become Nacho's sidekick
(eventually - the two have some more confrontation scenes before they decide to work together).
So this scene does those 4 things *for the story* - and it's funny, too.
SCENE GAGS LIST
Once you have your scene and know what the purpose is and what the conflict is, make a list of things
that might be fun to have happen in that scene. Of course, your definition of "fun" will change with genre.
In my horror script, opening the refrigerator to find a bunch of severed human tongues is "fun". For my death
penalty debate, I made a list of the worst things that could ever happen at an execution. I let my imagination
run wild and did some research. I wanted to horrify the audience. Then I made a list of terrible things that
would happen if this guy *wasn't* put to death. I tried to feed whatever paranoia the audience might have -
mostly that the serial killer might escape and show up at their front door.
In NACHO LIBRE the chip fight has a bunch of "gags" that include the fight on the scooter gizmo and using
chips as weapons. Basically, make a list of ideas for things that happen in the scene... and that's going to
help you flesh out that scene. You want to come up with enough ideas that you can select the best ones.
So, what could happen in that fight? What weird and funny ways of fighting are there? How can the food be
used in the fight? The scooter? What elements of character can we show in the fight? Let your imagination
run wild and come up with a huge list... the better to pick the great ideas from. One thing the fight shows
is the skinny guy jumping on and off a wall... and that's kind of like jumping on and off the wrestling ring
rope. Scenes are a great place to plant behaviors or information that will come into play in *later* scenes.
I usually come up with my scene ideas right before writing the scene - it helps me focus on what the scene
is about (after spending the morning doing something else... like writing script tips) and kind of kick starts
my creative side. If I write the scene right after brainstorming all of my scene ideas, my brain is still in
that wild creative mode and I often come up with more great ideas while I'm writing the scene.
You don't want to pad your scene with "gags" that have nothing to do with your story. Always dig deeper
into the story to find a new level of information for your scene.
Details are another thing that help create thick, juicy scenes. What can you show us about this world
or this character with a little detail? In one scene Nacho asks the pretty nun Sister Encarnación (Ana de la
Reguera) he has a crush on if he can stop by her room, later... and have some toast. Toast? What a strange
(though logical) excuse to meet with her. If he had said, "Can I stop by your apartment for a drink?" that
would be something we've heard before... which is why it's not the best line. We want something original,
something that could only come from *this* story... and that makes it toast. When we get to that scene...
they are eating toast. And it's crunchy and loud. The scene is kind of a first date scene... but the toast
makes it different. Find the detail that makes it different!
Nacho's sidekick Esqueleto seems obsessed by corn. It's not just stealing the corn chips, once he gets
some money he seems to spend it all on corn-on-the-cob dipped in mayonnaise with chili-powder sprinkled on.
He's eating it in almost every scene. A great detail... later used as a weapon in a fight scene (talk about weird).
A great way to find the interesting details in your scene is to visualize the world of your story - close your
eyes and imagine it. Once you've imagined all of the basic things, imagine the little details that bring that
world to life.
Also think about your character's ulterior motives in the scene. Though their goal in the scene may be one
thing, they may have a larger, secret goal. Every scene with Nacho and the Nun has both a story goal and Nacho's
secret goal to make her fall in love with him and give up her vows and marry him and have children. So what is
your protagonist's *secret* goal in the scene? Are they trying to impress someone? Are they trying to make peace?
Are they trying to hurt or insult the other person? Are they in love with the other person? What is going on
between the lines?
Last, think about how the end of your scene leads you to the next scene. The end of your scene needs
to shoot you into the next scene, so the story keeps moving forward. You don't want a herky-jerky script,
you want one that flows from scene to scene.
Every scene has a lot of responsibility. You don't want skinny dry scenes, you want them thick and juicy!
More on this in the SCENES Blue Book!
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How Do I do That?
101 SCREENWRITING ANSWERS Blue Book!
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ARE YOUR SCENES IN THE RIGHT ORDER?
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ARE YOUR SCENES IN THE RIGHT ORDER?
AND ARE THEY THE RIGHT SCENES?
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IS HALF OF YOUR STORY IN TROUBLE?
Most screenplays are about a 50/50 split between dialogue and description - which means your description is just as important as your dialogue. It just gets less press because the audience never sees it, the same reason why screenwriters get less press than movie stars. But your story will never get to the audience until readers and development executives read your script... so it is a very important factor. Until the movie is made the screenplay is the movie and must be just as exciting as the movie. So how do you make your screenplay exciting to read? Description is important in a novel as well, and the “audience” does read it... how do we write riveting description?
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NO KINDLE REQUIRED! Get the *free* app (any device, except your Mr. Coffee) on the order page on Amazon!
AUDIO CLASS!
NOIR & MYSTERY80 minute MP3 packed with information on writing Film Noir and Mystery scripts. Using examples from CHINATOWN to OUT OF THE PAST to DOUBLE INDEMNITY you'll learn how to create stories in this dark, twisted genre. How to plant clues, red herrings, suspects, victims, spider women, fallen heroes, the funhouse mirror world of noir supporting characters... and the origins of Film Noir in literature Noir dialogue and how noir endings are different than any other genre. All of the critical elements necessary to write in this critically popular genre.
The Noir & Mystery Class is only $15 .
RECESSION SALE! $5 OFF!
IDEAS AND CREATIVITY - 80 minute MP3 packed with information. Tools to find ideas that are both personal *and* commercial. Hollywood wants scripts with High Concept stories... but not stupid scripts. Developing *intelligent* high concept ideas. How to turn your personal story into a blockbuster - or find your personal story in a high concept idea. Brainstorming and being creative. Ideas and Creativity is $10.00 (plus $5 S&H)
WRITING INDIES - Writing an Indie film? This class covers everything you need to know - from Central Locations to Confined Cameos. Using examples from SWINGERS, THE COOLER, STATION AGENT and others, this 80 minute MP3 is packed with information. How Indoe films challenge the audience (while mainstream films reassure the audience). Structures, using BOYS DON'T CRY, RUN LOLA RUN, HILARY & JACKIE, and others as example. Writing for a budget, writing for non-actors, getting the most production value out of your budget. Writing Indies is $10.00 (plus $5 S&H)
WRITING HORROR - The essentials of a horror screenplay - what do ROSEMARY'S BABY, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE EXORCIST, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE OTHERS and OPEN WATER have in common? This class will tell you! All of the critical elements necessary to write a script that scares the pants off the audience. Writing Horror is $10.00 (plus $5 S&H).
Click here for more information on CLASS MP3s!
STORY IN ACTION SERIES!
THE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE MOVIES
NEW: Updates On Films 7 & 8 Casting!
All Six Movies analyzed! All of the mission tapes, all of the “that’s impossible!” set pieces and stunts, the cons and capers - and how these scenes work, the twists and double crosses, the tension and suspense (and how to generate it), the concept of each film as a stand alone with a different director calling the shots (broken in the sixth film), the gadgets, the masks, the stories, the co-stars and team members (one team member has been in every film), the stunts Tom Cruise actually did (and the ones he didn’t), and so much more! Over 120,000 words of fun info!
THE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE MOVIES - 347 Pages - Only $3.99 !
BRAND NEW!
*** THE BOURNE MOVIES
NEW: Updates on TREADSTONE TV show!
All five "Bourne" movies (including "Legacy" and it's potential sequels) - what are the techniques used to keep the characters and scenes exciting and involving? Reinventing the thriller genre...
or following the "formula"? Five films - each with an interesting experiment! A detailed analysis of each
of the films, the way these thrillers work... as well as a complete list of box office and critical
statistics for each film. This book is great for writers, directors, and just fans of the series.
Only $3.99 - and no postage!
Over 240 pages!
*** THE TERMINATOR MOVIES *** - For Kindle!
He's back! The release of "Terminator: Dark Fate" is set to begin a new trilogy in
the Terminator story... 35 years after the first film was released. What draws us to these films about
a cybernetic organism from the future sent back in time? Why is there a new proposed trilogy every few
years? This book looks at all five Terminator movies from a story standpoint - what makes them work
(or not)? What are the techniques used to keep the characters and scenes exciting and involving? How
about those secret story details you may not have noticed? Containing a detailed analysis of each of
the five films so far, this book delves into the way these stories work... as well as a complete list of
box office and critical statistics for each film. This book is great for writers, directors, and just
fans of the series.
ONLY $3.99 - and no postage!
NO KINDLE REQUIRED! Get the *free* app (any device, except your Mr. Coffee) on the order page on Amazon!
HITCHCOCK FOR WRITERS!
Strange Structures!
*** HITCHCOCK: EXPERIMENTS IN TERROR! *** - For Kindle!
***
Contained Thrillers like "Buried"? Serial Protagonists like "Place Beyond The Pines"? Multiple Connecting Stories like "Pulp Fiction"? Same Story Multiple Times like "Run, Lola, Run"?
HITCHCOCK DID IT FIRST!
This book focuses on 18 of Hitchcock's 52 films with wild cinema and story experiments which paved the way for modern films. Almost one hundred different experiments that you may think are recent cinema or story inventions... but some date back to Hitchcock's *silent* films! We'll examine these experiments and how they work. Great for film makers, screenwriters, film fans, producers and directors.
Only $5.99 - and no postage!
LEARN SUSPENSE FROM THE MASTER!
*** HITCHCOCK: MASTERING SUSPENSE *** - For Kindle!
Alfred Hitchcock, who directed 52 movies, was known as the *Master Of Suspense*; but what exactly is suspense and how can *we* master it? How does suspense work? How can *we* create “Hitchcockian” suspense scenes in our screenplays, novels, stories and films?
This book uses seventeen of Hitchcock’s films to show the difference between suspense and surprise, how to use “focus objects” to create suspense, the 20 iconic suspense scenes and situations, how plot twists work, using secrets for suspense, how to use Dread (the cousin of suspense) in horror stories, and dozens of other amazing storytelling lessons. From classics like “Strangers On A Train” and “The Birds” and “Vertigo” and “To Catch A Thief” to older films from the British period like “The 39 Steps” and “The Man Who Knew Too Much” to his hits from the silent era like “The Lodger” (about Jack The Ripper), we’ll look at all of the techniques to create suspense!
Only $5.99
ADVICE FROM 1920!
*** VINTAGE #1: HOW TO WRITE PHOTOPLAYS *** - For Kindle!
***
Screenwriting books have been around as long as films have. This series reprints vintage screenwriting books with a new introduction and history, plus new articles which look at how these lessons from almost 100 years ago apply to today’s screenplays. Anita Loos book is filled with information which still applies.
In addition to the full text of the original book, you get the full screenplay to Miss Loos' hit THE LOVE EXPERT, plus several new articles on the time period and women in Hollywood.
ONLY $2.99 - and no postage!
